$$$That's money, Honey$$$

Everything I've learned about [insert "choice" word here] , I learned through working retail.

During my 10 year stint in the wonderful world of various retail settings, I have learned many things, had many bizzare experiences and have had many mind-changing insights specifically into the realm of human behavior. So many in fact, that I believe I have enough material to write a book or two on the subject. I will not bore you with that lovely information at length today. However, I will share with you a few samplings that have been on my mind as of late.

1. People are blind. Upon entering a retail setting, persons who entered the establishment with full vision can mysteriously and seemingly conveniently become oblivious to otherwise blatantly obvious signs and notices that have been placed for their benefit. They will then approach the nearest employee with the look of profound stupor and lay blame on the lowly worker because it cannot possibly be their own fault that they didn't see what was right in front of their dumbfounded face. Which leads me to...

2. People cannot read. Better yet, they have extremely selective and skewed reading skills. How a label or tag for item A magically reads as the completely unrelated item B, C & D is beyond me. But don't try to correct them by trying to explain the actual reality, they will all of a sudden be unable to comprehend basic english as well.

The next realization that I will share with you finally came to me today;
3. I have no problem with customers paying with a $100 bill. However, I am not too keen when people present a $100 bill to pay for small insignificant purchases (purchases less than $20) only for exactly one of the following reasons:
a. They genuinely have no other cash than a $100 bill, and cannot/will not pay with some sort of plastic or other payment method. In my opinion this is the most resonable and ideal acceptable situation.

b. The bank machine has given them $100's and they are too rushed to go to a teller to receive smaller bills, so they want you to act as a bank & give them change. This is particularly frustrating for smaller business establishments who quite often simply do not have that kind of change to give out (especially upon the first hour or two of the day). Seniors and most likely elderly women are usually guilty of this annoyance. They become unreasonably irritated when you cannot provide them with the aforementioned change. Then the retail worker becomes irritated when after bitching and whining, the customer pulls out a few smaller bills that they had all along to pay for the purchase.

c. The bill is counterfeit. They are trying to get rid of it and receive as much legit change in return as they can. This one is true for really measly purchases. Especially purchases of $5 & even $1 or less. I have seen young, rookie cashiers fall for this scam more than once.
And finally the most likely reason that I see all too often on a much too regular basis, and what I feel is the most shameful of them all...
d. They do it to inflate their own grotesque egos. They will usually have a smug or pretentious holier-than-thou smirk on their face when they pull the money out of their wallet. It strongly comes across that they somehow feel liberated or superior to be able to pay for their little purchase with a large bill. Their feeling that money equates status, power & importance is blatantly showcased. After perhaps complaining about the cost of the item they are purchasing and then learning that there isn't enough money in the till to change the 100, they make sure you are looking and then pull out a thick stack of smaller bills that they slowly count out and use to pay for their tiny purchase. I would like to say to those people: Please. Get over yourself already.
Many years ago I had an elderly man present me with a $1000 bill to pay for a $75 purchase. I am pretty sure that it wasn't counterfeit, although I had never seen a $1000 bill ever before. He refused to accept the fact that I could not possibly process that large a bill even if I wanted to. Sorry, my till barely has enough change for $100 nevermind $1000! That's like $925 in change back. I had to call a supervisor over and he refused to reason with her as well. We told him to go the bank across the street and change it and he responded by saying that he would never shop at the store or the company again. I say go figure & good riddance!